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Projects :: Final Project :: NeufKar Robotics :: Story

About:
This is the robot of Dan Osborn and Jarrod Freeman, of OzFree. It is a robot that will automatically type words for you.

The Robot Itself:
The robot contains many, many parts. Most of the kits parts are used up, and there are also many parts form the extras box. The more important parts are listed below:

• 3 touch sensors (for the remote control)
• 3 motors (to control left and right, forward and back and the arm with hits the keys)
• lots of gears (to keep robot on the right track and to move it)

Story:
A long time ago in the fifth dimension, there was a world. On this world there was a species of people. They called themselves the Hooloovoos. There was something special about this race, they were a super intelligent shade of the color blue.

But this story has nothing to do about them. The real story happens in the third dimension where there was a different species of people. There was nothing incredibly special about them, just the normal things: four arms, three legs and twenty-three fingers. They lived on a world called Zarquon with six moons, and two suns (very basic). The dominant species on this planet called themselves the Hopenslobs.

Something very unfortunate happened to this species, it was just a normal day, and that night in a biochemical engineering lab, there was an accident, a vaccine was in the development stages when a sample of it was spilt. This vaccine was made terribly wrong, it was designed to cure a flesh-eating disease, but it did the opposite, it targeted the fingers of its victims and slowly ate them. Once all the fingers were gone from its victim it would move onto another one. This disease was very fast, and within a week the whole population of the Hopenslobs had no fingers. One of the first problems they came across was that they could no longer type.

The people of Zarquon called upon two of their greatest minds to find a solution to this problem. They spent a week on their project and failed. They were then terminated immediately. After that two normal Hopenslobs called Jarrod Freeman and Dan Osborn (the names are entirely a meaningless coincidence and do not refer to anyone from the planet Earth, in the language of the Hopenslobs, Jarrod Freeman means short and insignificant and Dan Osborn means absurdly tall and stupid) came to the leader of their people and said that they could come up with an idea to solve this disastrous problem. The leader said if they fail they would be feed to most vicious creature on their planet, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. With their new found determination they started immediately brain storming ideas. They came up with many ideas, even a scuttled hustler, they had no idea what this was and dismissed it immediately. They finally came up with the idea of an automatic typing machine. Many thought this was the most insanely stupid idea of all time and it would never work. Even with this harassment they continued their quest.

Together they designed this extraordinarily complex machine. Many ideas were tested, improved, tested again, and finally accepted by both and put into the machine. The next question was if the machine should be controlled by a remote or if it should be automatically type a sequence of letters that form words. They decided to do both of the ideas. Dan then started to program and Jarrod did the finishing designing and building of the machine.

The first problem Dan encountered was that he had no fingers to type out a program. So he had to use his toes, as you can imagine this would be very hard, and it was. Dan worked hard on the pro gram and came up with a working remote, and started to make the automatic program. Jarrod finished the machine and started to type using the remote. Dan finished the automatic program, and the machine was fully functional and ready to go. They presented the machine to their leader, and he was overjoyed with the masterpiece. Jarrod and Dan were hailed as the almighty gods of their world. They were given prizes and gifts, and they lived in a huge mansion with a hundred women each.

A decade later a cure was made for the flesh-eating disease, and people were being born that had all their fingers, so 100 years later all the people that had no fingers had died and the machine Jarrod and Dan created was useless, but people are lazy and don’t want to type and use the machine anyways. At that time Jarrod and Dan were the only surviving people with no fingers, and because of the huge advancements in the field of health, a vaccine for immortality was created. Jarrod and Dan were the first to be given this amazing vaccine because they were gods. In the end Jarrod and Dan lived forever (which is a very long time) and so did everyone else because of the vaccine.

This product is endorsed by the American military corps for reasons beyond my knowledge if you try to do precise things to this machine or just about anything at all, it will do unmentionable measures to you and your children and or face. please do as follows.

CAUTION:

1. If you try to eat the machine it will release poisonous chemicals inside your stomach causing your oesophagus to climb through your throat and strangle your brain.
2. Like wise if you shake the machine sharp objects will lacerate your skin and cause severe Micronesia or microphelia. resulting in certain death.
3. If the robot tries to claim world domination and begin nuking other planets/countries blame the artificial intelligence officer/programmer “DAN OSBORN” and pound him mercilessly to the ground.
4. Some of these robots have been known to take on a mind of it’s own much like that of 200% the capacity of a real human being. If this happens stand on your head for 2 hours until pass out completely there-for being you won’t remember a thing.
5. Keep the robot away from taunts, dropping, and diplomatic racial insults if not the robot will detonate itself with much the same force as a large nuclear bomb.
6. If Michael Jackson gets within 200 feet of it make sure all personnel are at least 400 meters away and let the robot take care of itself when it is touched it detonates much the same as the last “Caution” point.

• This product is COMPLETELY safe for children and is made from 100% cotton. please read the owners manual before using.
• Dan and Jarrod wish to thank Kane "helping" with their website, and graciously providing a space for them to put it, for free. For his efforts, he will receive $50 and a free working version of our robot.

Media:
Pictures - pictures of the robot